The Holiday: The Girl's Side of the Story

Once upon a time there was a girl who went on holiday with her boyfriend. But not just her boyfriend. 12 other people came along as well, mainly members of the boyfriend's family.

The troop ranged in age from 3 to 90 and their first battle was with the check-in desk. Never try and check in with 9 people at the same time - you will annoy yourself and everyone around you as they try to clamber over your bodies and bags. The Girl retreated to a safe distance until the danger had passed.

When they got to France they drove through the countryside, while the sun was setting and arrived at their final destination. The Girl, too tired to look about properly collapsed into bed and promptly fell asleep, awakening to the sun streaming in through the window and the realisation that this was her chateau (for a week anyway).

The Girl's days over the week followed a fairly similar pattern. Get up, eat, read by the pool, swim in the pool, perfect her bombing technique in the pool, read, eat, read, lie out in the shade, usually beneath a tree (and read), shower, eat, drink, read and sleep.

The Girl did haves some adventures along the way. She swam in the river (La Gironde if you like your geography) - there was a gentle current that drifted you downstream, she didn't need to make much effort, just lie back and float, staring up at the cloudless blue sky.

She also ventured further afield and took her first ever trip to a water park, Aqualand. Never had she seen such delights, water slides galore of every shape and size, and also such sights - Aqualand was where speedos came to die.

The Girl decided she would go on an innocent looking slide - "it's just got a few bumps on it" she thought to herself. Off she went, "Wheeeeeeee!!!!" and hit the water at the bottom with such force that she gave herself the biggest wedgie known to man. She learnt a new skill that day - how to quickly get out of very shallow water whilst retrieving your tankini bottoms from out of her behind. She went on it a couple of times but realised her dignity couldn't hold out much longer so she gracefully retired.

The Girl also made a cat friend. She likes to find a cat on each of her holidays. When she went to America she made friends with Pool Cat, a big fluffy beast who would come and join her by the pool at all times of the day. This holiday was no exception and she made friends with Lily. Lily was not just an ordinary cat, Lily was Mr Lily. The family thought they were getting a pretty girl but in fact had a very handsome boy. However the name stuck and Mr Lily doesn't seem to mind having a girl's name.

What The Girl had feared most was whether she could spend that much time with her boyfriend's family, or indeed that much time with her boyfriend.

Her fears were (mostly) unfounded. There were times when it seemed as if the world would never be quiet agani but The Girl learnt to just take herself away at those times. People would just have to deal with the absence of her presence. She also bowed out a mass shopping trip to the supermarket - the thought of 3 cars full of them traipsing up the aisles brought her out in a cold sweat. So she waved her boyfriend off - "I won't be long" he called out. She smiled a wry smile - "We'll see" She said to herself.

They returned 3 hours later...

However the one person she never got tired of being around was her boyfriend. And what's all that really matters doesn't it?

Well that and getting a tan.