Fat Camp

I have lost many a friend to the cult of Weightwatchers.

People seem to join and immediately turn into incredibly anal bores who delight in telling you how many points are in that piece of cake you’re about to enjoy. Whenever I think of WW I think of a friend who joined and turned up for a night at the cinema with a little freezer bag containing some penny sweets. She was ridiculously excited because she’d saved up her points to allow herself this treat. She talked about it some more but I couldn’t hear her over the handfuls of popcorn I was shovelling into my mouth.

I really do not want to become that person.

And so I haven’t told a lot of people that I’m doing it.

I don’t handle pressure very well, as the recent family drama I went through highlights. If I knew that people knew I was on the ol’ WW I would start to feel them looking at me, looking to see if I was losing weight, looking to see what I was troughing, wondering why I didn’t look like Kate Moss in a month. Most likely all in my head I understand but such is the life of someone consumed with paranoia.

I’m hoping the secret thing will work twofold – I can attempt to lose weight almost pressure-free and I won’t become a WW bore because I can’t give the game away by telling them how many points are in that digestive they’re about to dunk in their tea.

So I hope you feel privileged, knowing all about it.

Yesterday was my first day and it was with quite a bit of fear that I approached the scales. I don’t have scales at home so I can’t weigh myself but I had an inkling. But I had an inkling in the way that you think something’s going to be a certain way but there’s a part of you that secretly hopes it’ll be entirely different.

My inkling was right. The figure was official and was noted down in my little leaflet. It was like someone had taken a huge stamp and BOOM made it official. No escape for me now. I have to be committed, I can’t have a few days of being good and then kid myself that I can have 2 weeks of being bad as a reward, I have to be permanently good because I know that judgement day is only a week away.

God.

I’ve had fun, looking through my little book which tells me the points value of a few common things and I have a little Pointsfinder which is a grid which will allow me to work out the Points value of certain foods based on calories and saturated fat.

I think there’s going to be a certain element of annoyance as I get used to what things have how many points in them and there’ll have to be a certain amount of planning that goes on where meals are concerned.

But. For now. I feel positive.

Until next Tuesday...