Monday, 9 March 2009

Charity Cases

One of the great things about announcing you're moving into an unfurnished flat is the deluge of offers from friendsand family who can't wait to help you out.

Or are they?

I have come of the conclusion that people fall into two categories. Those that genuinely want to help you and thosethat are happy to give you any old tat they can't be botehred to take to the tip or give to charity. Those in the latter tend to follow their offer with this phrase, or a variation on the following....

"It's not brilliant but it'll do for you as a starter."

I don't expect people to go giving me their new dining table and chairs whilst they sit on cushions around upburnedboxes, but what I don't really want is a 3 legged chair or a wardrobe with no door or a hoover that doesn't actually pick up dirt.

You can see what people are thinking..."Yes! I'll go and rake through the garage/shed/local skip for any old crap and give it to them and when it falls apart in two weeks THEY'LL have to get rid of it."

The other difficulty is having the ability to say no so something truly hideous. I've never been able to say no toanything which has often got me in to trouble. I just feel so awful saying no! The worst one is people asking youfor your number in a bar, it's quite easy for you to just say, "I'm sorry, no, I've got a boyfriend." See I know that's all I need to say but the words will not come out of my mouth. I feel like by saying that, it's the same as pointing, laughing and screaming at the top of my lungs, "Haha! He thinks I'm going to give him my number! Retard!"


Some people have genuinely offered us stuff that really is horrible and after making several "hmms" and "aaahs" have gone away saying I'll check with the boyfriend, hoping that they'll not bring it up again. The other answer I've come up with is "Oh we've already got one of those" It's the safest option all round really. Sometimes there's just no need to tell the truth.

You could say it as nicely as you like "It's just not my style" or "I don't think it'll really go with anything we have". But what you're actually doing is pointing, laughing and screaming at the top of your lungs, "Haha! As if I want something that ugly in my house! No thanks, I've actually HAVE taste."

I never knew moving was going to be so fraught with hidden dangers...

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