Wednesday, 25 March 2009

What more do you people want?!

Something very strange happens when you tell people that you've moved in with someone. Their eyes light up and it's not just that they're happy for you to be living with someone you love, you can practically hear the sound of wedding bells in their ears.

Now I understand that I have made a small tentative step down that road by agreeing to live with somebody but I am a long way from that happening!

Don't get me wrong, I do want to get engaged one day and I wouldn't be moving in with someone if I didn't think this was going to happen at some point. But people seem to think it's going to happening in the next week or so, judging by their reactions.

We've only paid the first month's rent on a flat and people are wondering when I'm going to walk in with a diamond ring on my finger.

I've never really noticed it before but the traditional view that, as a woman, you must naturally want to get married, is very much alive and kicking, even in these times. You would have thought that things would have changed - we've seen the advent of house-husbands and women in high power. And yet the idea of the traditional 50s housewife is alive and kicking.

People talk about how great it is that now women can have it all, they can be wife and mother and career woman. But no-one seems to consider that maybe you don't want EVERYTHING. Maybe you just want a career or maybe you just want to be a wife and mother. And who is to say which is right?

Let me just make it clear that I would like to get married one day, I'm just playing devil's advocate here. What I don't understand is this assumption that it's going to happen and, more importantly, that it's going to happen soon.

We're told that women are marrying and having children later and later in life and yet at 26 people are almost stunned when I wave off questions about 'the future'. It's this sense again that we have to rush at everything full tilt. I still think I am young. Would it not be foolish to rush in to something? Is it not a bit more sensible to maybe live with someone a while and see if....I don't know....we actually get on with each other and can live together? We haven't even paid any bills yet!

The most hilarious conversation happened with my sister-in-law's father at the weekend however. He is a very traditional guy, very traditional. Let's called him B. He nearly drove my brother to distraction dropping very unsubtle hints about him marrying his only daughter. We were all walking along through the centre of York and I stopped to look in the window of a jewellers. I was looking at emerald rings, I have a thing about green and I just love them, I stop everywhere to look at them.

When I rejoined everyone I apologised for holding people up and B said "Looking at engagement rings were you". I was stunned! "" What a crazy thing to say to someone that you really don't know that well. I found out afterwards that he had asked my Mum if she thought I would get married to my boyfriend. My Mum replied that it didn't really matter what she thought, that I would make my own decisions regardless of what anyone else thought.

He continued to press her asking "Do you not think she wants to?" "Well, no not at the moment." Mum replied.

"Isn't she strange" he said.

Erm. Not so much actually.

When we were leaving to return to Hull and I hugged B goodbye he said "I look forward to hearing your engagement announcement."

Don't hold your breath mate.

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