Thursday, 25 March 2010

The Dark Hours

There is a time of day that I have come to dread.

The hours between I arrive home at 5pm and when the boyfriend arrives home at 7.30pm.
No this is not some sap about how I can’t bear to be in the house without him (to be honest I’m gagging for a weekend on my own in the house, doesn’t he have any plans to go away somewhere?!) but is instead about my other love.


I get dinner on the go to be more or less ready when the boyfriend comes in from work. This is less a picture of the domesticated housewife having dinner on the table when her man comes home and more about me getting the green light to shovel.

7.30pm is a long way away from lunch time.

I’ve tried to put things in place. My daily yoghurt I now have about 3.30pm, instead of with the rest of my lunch, but the second I step through the door at 5pm my stomach starts whinging,

“You should feed me now.”

No stomach. We must wait for 2 and a half hours.

“But I’m huuuuuuuuuuungryyyyyyyyyyy”

And so this battle rages on through those long dark hours. Sometimes I win and I can stave him off until the boyfriend comes through the door and is greeted by me saying “Hello yes lovely you’re here, aren’t you great, now change because I need to eat.” And other times I fall victim to his wily ways. “I’ll just have a nibble of this” I’ll tell myself, before devouring a block of cheese/packet of crisps/bar of chocolate.

And the stomach is satisfied. So satisfied that he appears to have grown to twice his acceptable size.

So I have officially entered battle with my stomach. During the day I can keep him at bay. I have a routine, I stick to it and I eat pretty well, but every night I enter the danger zone, when the fighting is at its most severe.

I am trying to develop coping strategies as I feel it’s all just a case of keeping busy.

If I go to the gym after work that’s a good hour or so taken care of. I can come in and start the dinner and once that’s on the go the stomach quietens down in eager anticipation of the meal ahead.

But let’s face it, that ‘if’ at the beginning of the sentence is a really big ‘if’ and any excuse I can find not to go to the gym I will take. “Oh sorry the clouds are in the wrong formation today, I couldn’t possibly go and sweat in a room full of strangers.”

And the stomach knows that it has won that battle.

So new coping strategies are in order and I have turned to who I hope will be my General in this long and lonely war.

Barbara Currie.

She of the yoga fame. I have dusted her off and stuck her in the dvd player. This is officially the new plan. If I cannot drag myself out of the house and walk the 10 minutes down the road to the gym (yes I really am that lazy) then I will push back the sofas, throw a blanket on the floor and I will try and stretch and bend my body into terrifying shapes for an hour or so.

And so far General Currie and I are doing well. Yesterday, not a morsel touched my lips from lunchtime until dinner time and yes I know we shouldn’t starve ourselves and we should eat little and often but I’m afraid I was not born with the power of willpower. My brain does not understand the notion of ‘little and often’ when it comes to food, or anything in life. I’m an all or nothing girl which is why I fling myself head first into projects, becoming all consumed by them and forgetting everything that went before. Life would be great if I could have just one crisp, or half the bag, but it is not to be for me. The bag must remain unopened or all the contents will be poured into my stomach in record time.

So off I trudge into battle once more with a leotarded pensioner by my side. I put my trust in her and if she fails me I have a back up keeping busy strategy....



Tabiboo said...

Apples are good - slow burning, low calories, raises metabolism and fills you up.....for a while that is!

Failing that General Curries sounds goo.

Have fun,

Nina x

ana said...

Oh god. Barbara Currie. She does a good yoga video but I can only do it with the sound turned off. Somehow her voice sounds like it should come with an antimacassar and stale cake. But good on you. I just (re)started my Karen Voight videos and feel rather knackered but much better for it.

Hayles said...

Just have a million cups of tea. Works for me.

The Curious Cat said...

Hmm...I have not come across this Yoga for waiting to eat...yeah I hate that too - you are better than me though - I get hungry in the afternoon after lunch and when I get home...I'm eating constantly really...I just get soooooo hungry! Why is that? And why at work? When it is a weekend I can go til like 12 without breakfast but on a weekday I'll have breakfast and still be famished by is weird! Maybe it is boredom or something...I'm not sure....I'd have a crumpet if I were you...or whilst cooking a glass of wine or a few olives?! Hmmm....maybe the apple advice was best...but apples never fill me up unfortunately....

Petit Filoux said...

What can I say. It's like reading my life story. Honestly!!! Only I'm a little more lucky in the sense that I come home after boyfriend... But my battle is usually around 11am - shall i have my daily banana or go down to the cantine and buy myself a chocolate chip muffin? hum,easy one, especially as they'll even do credit if you don't have any money... And when you said the name of that yoga person, all I could think about was curry. Jalfrezi, madras, vindaloo.. yum!!! Yeah, that might explain why I don't actually fit in half of the clothes that's coming with me to Dubai... yep!

J said...

As I glance down at my copy of May's Good Food mag, I spy an advert from Galaxy stating that 'It not only tastes good, it does good' - apparently this giant of the chocolate world has joined forces with the Rainforest Alliance to help support cocoa growing communities in Africa. So to my mind we all need to be eating more Galaxy bars to show our support. I'm up for that.
I don't suppose I'm helping much - get back to your Yoga and I'll sit back, stuff my face and feel all good inside that I'm supporting such a great cause. Yum! said...

Ha ha, I have to wait til about 8pm until we can eat, and some days at about 5ish, I get an overwelming urge to eat... anything that happens to be in front of me! Burp! I have a few yoga books, doing just what I am doing, sitting! Just as a matter of interest, why is your stomach male!?!! Have a lovely, will power filled weekend! Oh, and I understand about wanting some time in the house on your own , I keep thinking.. George why do you never go away any more. I love him, and love his company, but I really enjoy the occasional weekend on my own.. and you can eat when you want to! suzie xxx