Friday, 18 December 2009

When compromise goes bad

When the boyfriend and I moved in together there was one thing preying on my mind. What was going to happen come Christmas? (Actually there were two things preying on my mind but the other one was to do with toilet habits so I won’t go into that one. Yet.)

You see in the past I’ve had boyfriends at Christmas but most of them have lived in different cities (the annoyance of getting with someone when you’re at university) so it was never really an issue, I would stay with my Mum and they would stay with their family and we’d meet up on Boxing Day or the day after or whatever.

And even last year when we were together and both living in the same city and I started to worry about it a bit, everything was sorted because Mum and I went to my sister’s house for Christmas and the boyfriend stayed home.

Christmas has been playing on my mind for a long while. Who would we go to? Should we have people here? (A notion quickly ruled out when I realised that my stress levels could in no way handle people over for my very first Christmas, making 6 cupcakes causes enough mess never mind a turkey.) Should we stay in the flat by ourselves? Should we go to one family one day and the other on Boxing Day? And if so which family would we go to on which day? The possibilities were endless and maths was never my strong point.

Coupled in to this mix is the fact that both the boyfriend and I are wusses when it comes to our mothers. Actually I’ll rephrase that. The boyfriend is a wuss when it comes to his mother, he just can’t say no to her! I am a little bit of a wuss but I also feel my situation is slightly different, my Mum is on her own whereas the boyfriend’s Mum has husband and daughter living with her and another daughter just down the road.

In the end we hit on the perfect compromise. We would open our presents to each other in the flat in the morning (very exciting and also strange, I’ve never had Christmas Day without my Mum before, who will tell me what to do?!), head over to my Mum’s mid-morning/early afternoon and spend some time with her and her friend, who’s staying with her over Christmas, and then head late-afternoon to the boyfriend’s family and stay there the night so the boyfriend can engage in some Christmas tipples.

Perfect. I really believe we were quite smug about the whole thing. We got time with just each other and would be spending time with both families on Christmas Day, everyone’s a winner.


We didn’t think about the Christmas Dinner factor.

Turns out that Mum plans to eat about 1pm and the boyfriend’s family won’t be eating until about 6pm.

That’s right.

This Christmas Day the boyfriend and I will be eating TWO Christmas dinners.

(I’ve been having repeats of the Vicar of Dibley running round in my head ever since)

Whenever I think about it I can actually feel my stomach filling up. I mean I can eat like the best of them and sometimes I wonder if the food is just falling out of the back of my head, rather than going to my stomach because I never seem to be full, but two Christmas dinners? Two?!

You see? No good can come out of compromising.

But also.

No good can come out of potentially offending two Celtic mothers.

Spare me and my stomach a thought on Christmas Day won’t you?

5 comments: said...

oh dear, thats a tough one! Thats why it is good when you have a little one (no! Not meaning you should do that!) But at least you can stay at home instead, for the child ..of course! How awkward though! I would hate to think of your Mum sat eating on her own though! Oh dear. Hope it all works out somehow! Merry Christmas! Suzie. xxx

Petit Filoux said...

ha i feel for you! xmas all a bit of a shambles here now that my nan can't come, just gonna be me and my mum - boyfriend will be here in the morning before going to his mum and dad's but i can't quite figure how it's going to be as good as i hope it is!... hum! well anyway, good luck with the 2 dinners! unfortunately for my waistline i would probably be able to eat both! x

The Curious Cat said...

oh i wouldn't worry too much...I always eat two on xmas day....I go back for seconds later in the evening because I love roast dinner...I used to work in a carvery and I used to have two roast dinners then as well on a double isn't so bad...just don't pile it on too high... It is very sweet you guys have put so much thought into pleasing everyone! :) i hope they appreciate it! xxx

Trish said...

Oh my, that should be quite the day. It was never a worry for me at the beginning as my husband grew up in a culture without Christmas so I kind of created every tradition that he has ever known. Then we moved far away and we had a child and well, that just solved it there. We used to always invite university students over, as we had been poor students once too....and knew the value of a good free meal! Later years we asked friends over later in the day and now we don't even do the turkey thing...the boys just preferring to have a steamed salmon....they are on a HUGE health kick. I usually volunteer my time serving out the turkey at local shelters so it is all good. At least we three are all very independent and flexible. You will have fun...regardless. Ahhhh...and not to offend the must at least try a LITTLE of everything. You are hilarious....have fun!

Lenny said...

Oh man, your gonna explode! Why not fake a little seasonal tummy upset, something like "Oh, I'd love some Christmas dinner but I wasn't so well last night and I'm still feeling a bit delicate. You won't be offended is I have a small portion?"
Two small meal basicly add up into a big one right?