The V Day

Is it too late to post about Valentine’s Day?

Aah well. Don’t worry, there’s not really a lot to post.

I mean, really it’s just another day isn’t it? I don’t think we need a specific day to be romantic, and if I’m honest, the boyfriend is a big bag of smoosh most of the time, but I still think it’s nice to have a day just to say “Hey. I like you.”

I gave the boyfriend his card, and he gave me mine.

I don’t do presents and had told him not to bother but he bought me this orchid.

A freaking orchid.

I’m already panicked about killing it. I don’t have a great track record when it comes to nice plants. And those are just regular plants, not special plants that require you to do special orchidy things to them.

And then the day was just like any other Sunday. Bit of Hollyoaks, a trip to Toys r Us to get his niece a birthday present. (That place makes me want to kill myself. Or kill children.) He manhandled me past Hobbycraft. (I didn’t need anything from there, just an inexplicable urge to go in because I was walking past it.)Then back home to just sit and mooch about and watch crap on TV, before eating, watching more crap, bemoaning the fact that it was nearly Monday already, then to sleep.

A couple of times I felt like we should be doing more. There should be more effort. Maybe I shouldn’t have put my lounge pants on the second we came back from the shops. Maybe I should have sat next to him instead of going to sit on a sofa all by myself so I could stretch out.

Then I had a thought. The beauty of it is that that’s what makes me happy. Lying my full length on the sofa, tangling myself up in bits of wool and thread, watching crap on telly, accompanied by the background noise of whatever stupid game he’s playing on the PSP, getting up every so often to make cups of tea and check in the cupboard to see if it’s restocked itself with crisps since I last looked in there (it never has you know.), and generally being a lazy bint.

I’m just thankful I’ve found someone I can be a lazy bint with and still have him love me.

And for that reason I guess he’s my valentine.

(You may all commence vomiting now)

While I was away...

...I left my chilli plant in the washing-up bowl with some water to keep him hydrated. And look at what happened!!

My chillis turned red!

No idea what it's about. None of the others did it. I wondered if it's because they'd been left on longer but I left the other ones that I've already harvested on there for ages and they showed no signs of turning green.

I did stick one of the green ones in a bit of pasta magic the other night and they. are. spicy. I accidentally licked my fingers after I'd chopped it and my head nearly came off. Not for the faint hearted.

I will have to harvest these little red babies and see what they do to my taste buds....

Green Fingers (Part 2)

Remember how excited I was about this little fella?

Look at him now!!

And better than that he now has loads of friends...It's really difficult to count them all but I think I have about 20 little chilli babies all in various stages of gestation.

There's just one small problem...

I don't want to pick them!

I know that I must, I don't want them to die but I just like sitting and looking at Charlie and admiring his...chilliness.

I can't help but feel a little proud of what I've done. Look at him sprout! Look at him bloom! (Actually if he is sprouting and blooming isn't he a she?) I've stood by him and checked if he needed more water and rubbed his little stameny bits (calm down now) to help along the pollination. Just call me a little busy bumble bee substitute.

Now I have to harvest my little babies. I just can't bring myself to do it - that's not what a good mother does surely.

The other problem I'm facing is that I haven't got the tiniest idea what to do with them. I mean I know how to use them, I just don't think it would be wise to cook that many chilli dishes. I'm pretty sure it wouldn't be good for our digestive systems...

PS Remember how excited I was about the one pink flower on my nameless plant? Look at how many friends he has now!

Just call me Alan Titchmarsh

Sitting, Waiting, Wishing

I've become determined to not let my lack of garden stop me successfully nurturing plants in the flat.

A while ago I went to visit some friends of mine that are remarkably self-sufficient when it comes to growing their greens. Their garden is full of potatoes and tomatoes and strawberries and aubergines and broccoli and a very impressive herb garden. Every time I see them I come away with something, despite my protestations that I'm not going to be able to keep them alive.

They gave me a basil plant and a courgette plant last year that lasted about, oooh, 2 weeks I think.

This time I wasn't allowed to leave without a chilli plant. I did point out that I don't have a garden and hence no means of pollination but this left them undeterred. I left with strict assurances that I wouldn't kill it and that I'd be able to do a bit of self-pollination to make sure it produces the goods.

I've had plenty of flowers and have tried my hardest but so far with no luck. However, yesterday I spotted a little delight - I think I got one!! I'm keeping all my fingers and toes crossed that I actually manage to produce a chilli. I'll keep you updated on his progress.

I'm also loving this plant that a friend gave me as a housewarming gift. Except I don't know what he is - can anyone tell me?! He's been brilliant (I don't know why but most of my plants are male - Charlie the Chilli, Bertie Basil....you get my drift) and has produced a steady flow of purpley flowers. I thought his flowering season had come to an end and then I woke up to this bright pink dazzler - I can't believe how beautiful it is and there are lots of promising buds hanging about which I'm hoping are going to produce the same colour flowers.

Yeah who needs a garden?!

Green fingers (Part 1)

When we began looking for somewhere to rent, my boyfriend and I had the grand house vs flat debate.

People fell on both sides and the main argument that people cited in favour of renting a house was that there would be a garden. "You can have bbqs" people exclaimed! "You'll have somewhere to sunbathe!" shouted others. "Aah but you will have a mow the lawn" said those on the other side.

In the end we ended up getting a flat, purely because it ticked enough boxes. Yeah a garden would be nice but neither of us are mad about gardening so we weren't too disappointed.

This is a decision that we're probably going to regret when we get our long overdue summer and we have to sit inside, slowly baking.

I overestimated something though and that was my increased interest in growing things. I've never been fussed about horticulture, something I put down to the fact that I'm afflicted with hayfever every summer. The last thing you want to do when you're sneezing your head off and your eyes are so swollen they get glued together, is fiddle about with plants.

Last year though I took a fancy to growing sunflowers. I done this a few years on the trot in my childhood as part of Blue Peter's challenge to grow the tallest sunflower. I never won.

Side note: Blue Peter competitions form most of my memories from my younger years. I tried so hard to win a Blue Peter badge and never got one. I designed a green car (see how far ahead they were on environmental issues!) and a stamp (it had a Golden Eagle on it although I forget why) and....nothing. I should have at least got one for trying!

Anyway.

Sunflowers.

I picked up the seeds and announced I was going to grow them. "It's too late in the year, they won't grow" Mum said.

That was it. The gaunlet was thrown down. The challenge was extended. I had no choice but to accept.

For the next few months all I talked about was my sunflowers. I nearly injured myself doing a victory dance when I asw my first teeny tiny green shoots.

I also discovered that sunflowers are hardy little critters. There were times when I neglected my babies (to be fair I had just started going out with my boyfriend, my mind was on other things!). I would come back and they'd be all withered and floppy and generally sad looking. However a quick water - sunflowers drink a lot of water by the way - and half an hour later they'd be bouyant and spritely and happy as larry.

They also had to survive the vagaries of a not particularly sunny summer and the fact that they were situated in the windiest place in England - down the side of Mum's house. God knows why it happesn but that place is the ultimate wind tunnel, you practically have to tether yourself to the house before you venture down there. My sunflowers were staked to death - to the fence, to the bin, to eachother if necessary. They showed good fighting spirit though and refused to let the elements beat them.

Maybe they didn't crazily tall and become the size of a house, but some of them did reach the pretty impressive height of over 6 foot which left me very proud.

Now that it's that time of year again I'm missing having a garden - it would have been nice to have tried growing them again but I still have the memories....*sigh*

However, even though I don't have a garden, I've still been able to put my green fingers to practice...