Letters related to this weekend

Dear Brett and Jemaine a.k.a. Flight of the Conchords,

Thank you so much for touring again and coming to the UK. Especially for coming to Manchester on Saturday night. The gig was absolutely brilliant and well worth all the tears and trauma I went through to get tickets.

I would really like to thank you for playing at the Apollo which meant the gig was seated. I don’t know if you know but I recently hurt my ankle quite badly and although I am now up and moving about, there’s no way it would have lasted a whole night standing up.

You played a great mix of songs from the first and second series – you even played Carol Brown which is definitely one of my favourites. And thank you so much for playing us 3 or 4 new songs, I didn’t think you’d have more material because you said you weren’t going to do a 3rd Series, but you did and they were brilliant, especially because I’ve listened to your albums so many times that I know the songs inside out and back to front. Do you think that you could possibly consider releasing To Woo a Lady? It was freakin’ hilarious.

And can I just say that you dealt with all the hecklers really well. I don’t even understand why there were hecklers, it seems bizarre to me that you’d pay at least £30 to go and see something and then shout rude things at the people on-stage but I guess people are weird. I hope it didn’t give you a bad impression of Manchester or the UK.

Could you also pass this letter on to Eugene Mirman? I wanted to say thank you to him as well, I’ve never been to a gig that opened with a comedian before and he was really funny. And I felt bad for him because people were heckling him too and although he handled it well and came back at them, I think it threw him for a bit at the beginning. They were retards, I knew straight away that he was the landlord from the show.

And you had the best merchandise ever. I nearly bought 2 t-shirts because I just couldn’t decide but luckily the coffers were only stretched to one. I’m going to try not to wear it to death.

Ok well I guess I’ve said all I’ve got to say. Thank you again, it was really great and I hope I get to see you again one day because you were so so funny.

Could you maybe just think a little bit about doing a 3rd season? Or a one-off special at least?

Thanks so much,
The Girl.


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Dear lastminute.com,

I have only used you twice but you’ve come up with the goods both times baby. First you gave me the City Warehouse Apartments for when my friends from America came over and we had a reunion in Manchester and this time you sent us to the Macdonald Hotel and Spa. Super fancy dancy and yet only cost us £100 for the night.

(Yes actually kind of expensive but slap bang in the city centre and it was actually last minute and anyway the Travelodge in the town centre was £135. Oh. And the boyfriend was paying.)

Seriously I walked in and was all jaw dropped and speechless and kept making little noises that were kind of excitable. So fancy!


And we all know that the mark of a fancy hotel room is the bathroom and Hello! Did this come up with the goods. It was the size of a small flat. The bath was like an ark! The shower cubicle was the size of my kitchen! There was a speaker in there so you could hear what was on the TV in the room (which admittedly was a little frightening when I was having a wee and suddenly Hollyoaks came blaring at me).

Keep coming up with the goods lastminute.com I’m your new fan.

Thank you
The Girl

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Dear Ankle,

I get that I was silly. I get that I should not have worn those shoes (even if they are beautiful) and drunk that much alcohol. I know that I should grow up and act more appropriately. I really feel like I’ve learned my lesson so do you think you could, you know,

STOP HURTING PLEASE?!

I know that it’s only been a week and the Doctor at A&E told me it would be 6 weeks until I was fully functional. But I don’t think that you realise just how impatient I am. I can only be ill for a few days at a time and then I get really bored and fed up with it and consequently kind of become a pain.

I do appreciate that you have healed enough for me walk on you and I would like to especially thank you for holding out on the walk to work this morning – GO YOU! Actually that is quite impressive that I can walk on you already, maybe I have super-awesome healing powers....

But anyway, you still hurt when I try and go up and down stairs which has been kind of embarrassing and more than a little inconvenient seeing as I live in an old building which doesn’t have a lift.

And I would like to apologise for standing on you for nearly an hour on Saturday when we were waiting for the doors at the Apollo to open on Saturday. I have learned my lesson, 6.30pm is when the doors open, not when the act begins, and there are no pubs to go and have a drink in near the Apollo (well, none that would allow you to leave with your life. Seriously, pretty skanky area of Mancehester). And even though I was freaking out about someone accidentally kicking my ankle at the gig, it didn’t happen did it? So that’s good.

And I swear by the end of tonight I’ll be back on the painkillers. It’s just that I’m giving blood this evening and they have so many rules about not being able to donate that I thought I had better lay off them for the weekend. I realise now that you’re not ready to be un-medicated.

So thank you for holding up all weekend (kind of) and I promise that I’ll treat you better in the future, if you could maybe get better a bit quicker than 6 weeks I’d really appreciate it.

Thanks,
The Girl

When The Girl went to London

I have a friend from uni who lives down in London and I got a random e-mail from her a few weeks ago asking what I was up to on 14th October.

The reason?

She had secured tickets for David Gest...My Life! A Musical Concert Extravaganza. Did I want to go?

How could I refuse?

So off I toddled off yesterday afternoon to London. It doesn’t take that long to get to London from Hull you know and if you’re lucky you can get on a Hull Trains train which will get you there in 2.5 hours. Impressive non?! Anyway. I got to London with a fast beating heart, full of excitement and a touch of anxiety.

Why the touch of anxiety I hear you ask?

This was going to be the very first time I had navigated the London Underground all by myself.

I know. How have I got to 26 and not done this?! I have been on the Tube before but I’ve always been in the hands of someone more capable who has taken charge and swept me on to the right platform. And it just scares me a little bit, it all looks very complicated and everything is made all the more stressful by the fact that everyone on the Tube rushes. Why do they rush so much in London? What is the hurry?

I had to believe in myself though. And I was secure in the knowledge that I only had to catch one train on one line, no pesky changes. I could do this. I took a deep breath and plunged in.

And it was quite uneventful really.

I arrived at Hammersmith station 20 or so minutes later in one piece.

And christened myself the Tube Champion.

I discovered that you have to ignore the rushing people and take things at your own pace. It’s all too easy to get swept up with them and you start to feel your heart pounding. The trick is to let them rush by you, let them get on with their busy busy London lives. I’m from Hull baby – I walk to a different beat!

We walked in to Hammersmith Apollo unsure of what we were walking in to. Neither of us had really looked up what this Musical Concert Extravaganza was about so we weren’t sure what to expect.

To say we were blown away was something of an understatement.

Turns out it was a soul concert. And not just any kind of soul concert. A soul legends concert. David Gest was basically there as a compere and would come out and introduce an act and then they’d come on, sing a couple of their hits, then more David Gest, then more soul, then more David Gest, lather, rinse, repeat.

At the beginning I was a little lost. I can’t confess to being a massive soul fan so a lot of the time I was clapping without really understanding who I was clapping and whooping at. However I did recognise some of the songs and as the show went on I began to recognise more of the people and more of the songs.

The second act was where it ramped up a notch. Candi Staton came on to sing You Got the Love. Yes. THE Candi Staton. And then Percy Sledge came on and sang When a Man Loves a Woman. Yes. THE Percy Sledge. And then Ben E King came on and sang Stand By Me. Yes. You see where I’m going with this? And then the Temptations came on! (Ok admittedly only 1 of them is an original Temptation but still.)

I couldn’t believe my eyes. It started to dawn on me just how amazing it was that I was there. Just how lucky me and my friend are that we didn’t know what we were coming to. Had we realised it was a soul concert, chances are we wouldn’t have gone, thank goodness we didn’t know what we were letting ourselves in for!

I’ve seen Percy Sledge sing When a Man Loves a Woman. Can’t get over it.

And at the beginning of the 2nd Act they showed some film of a documentary that is coming out soon, I think on Channel 5 he said, that David Gest has put together about Michael Jackson. He grew up with the family and produced some of Michael’s concerts and he has all this footage of him interviewing Michael. It was quite touching. After a few minutes of that David came out and asked us all to give a round of applause to Tito Jackson. He was in the audience!
Madness.

The night kept getting stranger and stranger.

But this was nothing compared to some of the hilarious ‘celebrity’ spottings we made during the interval:
- Vanessa Feltz and boyfriend Ben from Phats & Small (I’ll be the first to admit I was a little sceptical when they got together, especially as he’s much younger but let me tell you. They are. in. love. It melted my cynical little heart right away watching them dancing together to When a Man Loves a Woman)
- Matt Willis from Busted (and winner of I’m a Celebrity Get me Out of Here when David Gest was on it)
- Chico. Yep. As in, it’s Chico Time.
- Ben from ages old boyband A1
- Leigh Francis (of Avid Merrion and Keith Moon fame)
- Woman from Loose Women but we don’t know her name. The grouchy one. Is it Carol?
- Donny Tourette from punk band the Towers of London (actually he’s not so much a celebrity but I find him hilarious. He went on Celebrity Big Brother and was a right nincompoop and then he was on possibly the funniest episode of Never Mind the Buzzcocks ever when he behaved like such an idiot and Simon Amstell just relentlessy took the mick out of him. It was so so SO funny. And if you wanted to watch a bit of it then go here

I think if I had to pick a word that described the evening it would be RANDOM.

But in a good way.

We came back to my friend’s flat in St John’s Wood, somewhat bemused by the evening’s activities. There was time for a quick chat and then unfortunately it was to bed because I had a train to catch and my friend had to be at work.

The trip was only slightly mired by the fact that I appear to have caught some kind of horrendous cold from someone at work that has an accompanying cough which I’m pretty sure is going to result in the regurgitation of one of my lungs at some point. It also has a little friend with it known as THUMPING HEADACHE which I tried to keep at bay with the mighty paracetemol warrior.

Right I’m off to look for some cough medicine and make myself a badge that says Tube Champion.

Because if I don’t, who the hell will?!

Can’t believe I’ve seen Candi Staton sing You Got The Love.

Freedom Festival '09

My fair city comes in for more than its fair share of stick. Whenever anyone talks about it, it is usually in connection with something horrendous. Some of the proudest achievements have been:

- obese capital of England

- highest teenage pregnancy rate

- worst schools

- highest numbers of unemployed people

I could continue but I won't because it' s too depressing.

Oh wait.

I thought of another one.

When Crap Towns was published, Hull was voted Number 1. And that was by its own residents.

OUCH.

What no-one ever hears are the good things about Hull and if you live here it gets intensely annoying and boring constantly hearing that the city you call home is rubbish.

I mean, come on. We have:

- A football club in the Premier League

- 2 rugby league clubs in the Superleague

- The World's only Submarium (I'll leave you to look that one up later)

- beautiful parks and green spaces

- our very own train services connecting us to London in 2 hours

And loads more I can't even think of anymore. In short, Hull is ace.

And to demonstrate this aceness this weekend saw the 2nd annual Freedom Festival take place.

Bit of background for you - William Wilberforce, who was instrumental in the abolition of slavery in Britain was an MP for Hull (yet another reason why we are ace). Hull has also been the launch site for the annual Clipper Race for the past couple of years. The Clipper Race is a big bunch of yachts from round the world that are sailed by non-professional sailors in a race (basically, there's probably more to it than that).

The Clipper Race was starting on Sunday 13th and the celebrations included a display by the Red Arrows. The Freedom Festival ran over 2 days and featured performances by:

- Pixie Lott

- Peter Andre

- The Saturdays

- JLS

- Basshunter

- Aleesha Dixon

- Patrick Wolf

- Florence + the Machine

To name but a few.

Oh and did I mention that the entire event was FREE?

I got increasingly giddy as I read about the plans for the weekend. It was going to be amazing, just what Hull needed etc etc. So imagine my complete and utter dismay when I realised that I wasn't going to be here because I already had tickets to see Coldplay in Manchester.

Truth be told I still can't believe my bad luck and whenever someone tells me about it I kind of want to cry and stamp my feet at the unfairness of it all.

I was determined not to be completely left out and when we came back from Manchester on Sunday I allowed time for a nap and food before dragging the boyfriend into town to see the one band I really wanted to see - Florence + the Machine.

I managed to time it perfectly and we walked into Queens Gardens just as the soundcheck was finishing. We were stood quite far back - I think we'd both had our fill of crowd activity for one weekend (plus we're both pretty tall people and we'd only piss people off by standing in front of them!).

Listening to Florence Welch as the sky gradually turned to black was an amazing experience. Her voice is so difficult to describe - she has an incredible power that allows her to belt out songs and yet at the same time an ethereal fragility when her voice soars to the top notes. She reminded me an lot of Alison Goldfrapp's voice - I remember being totally blown away when I went to see Goldfrapp at uni.

They played a pretty long set for a free gig, they were on for a good half an hour or more. I was a little lost at times because I don't have the album, Lungs. She also performed her version of Candi Staton's You've Got The Love that she sang at T4's Party on the Beach. That went down a storm.

When she finished, the festival was officially over and the boyfriend and I made our way back home. I don't know that he's a massive fan but I'm pleased I stuck to my guns and dragged him there. After all, I can't complain one minute that I'm not doing enough with my life and then turn down a free gig can I?

So there ended my musical weekend, whcih spanned from American rap to English rock to quirky, fairy-dancing, gut-wrenching howling (in a good way though ok?!).

And there ended the weekend that proved that Hull isn't so crap after all.

(If you wanted to find out more about the Freedom Festival you could look here, or here, or HERE)

Viva la Vida

When I was in 6th form I heard about this band called Coldplay (I'm sure they were around before then but I was a little late to cotton on to these things). I got the album, Parachutes, stuck it on my CD player and didn't take it off for what felt like a year.

I was pretty sure that every song on that album had been written for me. I could apply every lyric to events that were happening in my life. At the time there was a boy that I was in love with, but he had absolutely no idea, he was just a friend. As soon as I heard Shiver I nearly fell on the floor - Chris Martin knew what I was going through! He'd taken all of my feelings and written them into a song.

The love affair began.

It has carried on through the years, through three more albums and countless boyfriends. And every time I met someone or fell in love, or fell out of love, the boys were there, singing beside me.

I've been desperate to see them for years but never got the chance - I was too late, or busy that weekend or didn't have enough money, it was like something was conspiring against me. However a few months ago my chance came one day as I was mooching through Ticketmaster. Coldplay were playing in Manchester, in September and there were tickets available!

I've been very excited about it for weeks and was even more excited and intrigued when I found out who the support act was. The one and only, Jay-Z.

Yeah I did a double take too.

Probably the most unlikely support act for Coldplay. And I did spend a good few weeks wondering whether there was another Jay-Z that I hadn't heard of, maybe an indie band? But no. And I didn't believe it until I saw him with my own eyes...

It was so funny. If the crowd at Oasis could be described in one word it would be - 'drunk'. If the crowd at Take That could be described in one word it would be - 'girls'. If the crowd at Coldplay could be described in one word it would be - 'white, middle-class couples' (yeah I know that's not one word but you get my drift right?)

There was a fair age range as well from people with young children (and no I don't think it's appropriate to have children that young in that environment but each to their own) to people in ther mid-20s to 30s, like me and the boyfriend, to people well into their 50s. It was this latter group that was the most amusing to watch when Jay-Z came on to perform his set. I've never seen so many confused looking people in my life.

He got the crowd going though and that's what you need from a support act. I should say at this point that there was another support act, White Lies, but I can't tell you about them because truth be told I wasn't really listening - sorry guys. But they did seem to be pretty good!

When Coldplay came on though....

I don't even think I have the words. But I'll try, otherwise it really would have been a waste of time posting this.

Have you ever heard 50 or 60,000 people all singing Coldplay songs at the same time? I have. It's beyond thrilling. It will give you shiver upon shiver down your spine and make your hairs stand on end. It was amazing.

And I guess in a way that's all I can say. It wasn't a great spectacle like Take That, there were no mechanical elephants. Although there were big yellow balloon/balls thrown into the crowd (guess what song that was for) and some fireworks and about 1o million paper butterflies that were blown over us, but all of this was secondary to the most important part.

For that night was all about the music.

They are CD perfect. There wasn't a note out of place, they are supreme musicians. At one point I got completely confused because the drummer was playing a guitar and someone else was banging a drum. Chris Martin was on a piano one minute, running about the stage the next. It was just brilliant.

And they were on for an incredibly impressive 2.5 hours, with the pace never dropping for a moment. Even more impressive when you consider that this tour began in June 2008 and has had 150-something dates.

When it was all over, even the insanely long wait for a tram home couldn't dampen my spirits (ok. maybe it did a little but it did take nearly an hour) because I'd finally fulfilled one of my dreams. And the 17 year old girl that first fell in love with their songs was finally satisfied.

When we were watching them the section of the crowd that I was in kept singing the riff from Viva la Vida over and over again. Any gap between the songs and we'd all start up. What that must have felt like to them I don't know. What a strange feeling to have that many people singing your songs and your words and your music back to you. I hope they realised how much we appreciated them.

I've gabbled for too long. I will go now. But don't think I've forgotten. I still have to tell you about Florence & the Machine. But you'll have to wait another day for that one.

Saturday night with four special boys...

This weekend saw me making another pilgimage to Manchester. This time to worship at the alter of a little band I like to call Take That.

I loved Take That when I was a whippersnapper. That was back at a time when the hardest decision I ever had to make in life was whether I like Robbie or Mark more. I never did decide. Although Robbie leaving Take That did make things slightly easier - I could like them both then. I couldn't have both of them when he was in the band because everyone knows you can only have 1 favourite.

Anyway as I grew up I continued to love them and yes I did shed a tear when they split up. Come on! Things would never be the same again! Boyzone, scmoyzone. Westlife? Worstlife. (Ha. I'm funny.)

But I never went to see them in concert. I don't know why. I guess back thing, those things just weren't on my radar. (Ironically the first concert I did go to was a Robbie Williams one.)

All that changed in 2005 when I watched the documentary. THE documentary. About Take That. Then I watched as the clamour grew and grew for them to reform. Reform, reform. Came the chant. And it worked. Hundreds of thousands of now grown women clamoured for a return to their youth and needed to see the boys they had so idolised when they were younger, back on stage to perform again.

Our wish was their command and reform they did. And in 2006 I was there, at the MEN Arena, screaming so loudly I was almost sick (seriously) and dancing around to the music of my childhood.

So when I was sat at my desk at work and heard Chris Moyles say that tickets were about to go on sale for the Circus Tour, I knew I had to join in the scrum. I got my browser windows set up. I had my credit card at the ready. Work was pushed to one side. It was time to go go go!! It was as scary time and my palms were more than a little sweaty but I did it again. I got the tickets.

So off I went to Old Trafford cricket ground to watch my boys perform. Tastes have changed - I'm now loving the Jason Orange, although if he gets any more camp I'll have to choose someone else, I have to keep my dignity you know.

Now I know you're thinking, "My god she's been babbling on forever and she hasn't even starting talking about the concert. This is going to be BOR.ING." You're wrong. It's not going to be boring.

Because I don't have the words to describe it.

It was beyond amazing. It was a spectacle. It was in fact a circus. There were tightrope walkers. There was a giant mechanical elephant. There were fireworks. There were songs galore - songs from the old albums, songs from the new album. There were costume changes. There was a giant inflatable scary man. There were balloons.

I cannot convey in any words how good it was. I really really can't. It was so good that I didn't even care that the biggest rainstorm in the world (I'm pretty sure I'm right there) soaked us through to the skin (no we didn't take umbrellas). It also didn't matter that Lady GaGa didn't show up. Actually that's a lie. It did matter. She managed to perform at Glastonbury the night before but was suddenly and inexplicably struck down when she got to Manchester....ooooh it makes me mad to just think about it. So I won't. I will think instead about the lights and the crowd and getting totally and utterly lost in memories of my childhood.

Instead of me doing the talking, I'll let the pictures do that for me...

Oasis - Heaton Park, Saturday 6th June

Oh blog I have neglected you! I apologise profusely. I can have no excuses. My behaviour is appalling. But you see I've been quite busy.

First thing Saturday morning I set off with a work colleague to Manchester for the 2nd date of the Oasis 2009 tour. I was a little apprehensive as the news had been full all day Friday about the technical difficulties which had plagued the first night and I was praying that it was all sorted for our trip there.

To cut a long story short it was an amazing day. But a long one. A veeeeeery veeeeeeery long one. Once we were settled in the hotel we got back in to Manchester city centre to have lunch and to pray for the torrential rain to stop. Someone must have been listening because by the time we emerged from the pub it was in to blazing sunshine (ok, maybe not blazing) with not a rain cloud in sight.

Although I've been to plenty of gigs before this was my first time at an open air gig and I was really looking forward to the experience. I've never been to a festival either and I thought that this could be my mini introduction to what it might be like.

The Enemy and Kasabian were supporting and were both good. The Enemy was a little ropey - sounded good but they just didn't have a lot of stage presence. Mind you on a stage that big that's a bit of an ask. Plus the lead singer was recovering from the food poisoning that had stopped him playing on the Thursday night. Kasabian were brilliant. I wasn't sure about them before I went because I didn't think I knew that many songs. Turns out I do! I would definitely like to go and see them again and will be buying the latest album in the meantime.

We weren't very close to the stage at all. We had ummed and aaahed about getting there for when the gates opened at 2pm so we could be sure of being in the inner circle but we voted to eat and drink where it would be a little cheaper so by the time we got there they weren't letting anyone else in to the inner circle. We therefore got ourselves against the next set of barriers which were a good way away from the stage - we were at the front of the back of the crowd if you like!

Once we got that spot we weren't going to give it up so there we stayed for the duration. Mind you there wouldn't have been anywhere else you could have gone. The only way out of that barrier was to be lifted over by the stewards and trust me that is not dignified. So I steeled myself against the surge when Oasis came on and gritted my teeth, determined to stick it out.

I have some pretty impressive bruises on my rib cage from getting crushed against the barrier and for a moment it was a little hairy but I'm pleased we stuck to our guns. I'm proud of us! (Although some might think us a little mental)

Oasis were amazing and surprisingly (to me anyway) they're cd perfect. I thought they'd be a little bit rough around the edges but that wasn't the case at all. When I could hear them (difficult when 70,000 people are screaming in your ear) it was absolutely spot on. They didn't play that many tracks off the new album, 3 or 4 I think, something I wasn't massively disappointed with because I don't love that album, and instead stuck mainly to the classics.

In any gig you go to there will be a key moment for you that you will always remember. It's the image or song that will come in to your mind whenever you think about the concert. For me it was listening to Don't Look Back in Anger just as the sun had set. It's too hard to explain why - I just couldn't begin to try. But it was great.

The boys are very much as you would imagine. Not a great deal of crowd interaction and they were very much there to play the songs and that was it. The atmosphere was supplied by the crowd, definitely not like them. I was most affronted when they just left the stage at the end. People started to walk away and I was saying "Well that can't possibly be it. They haven't even said goodbye or thank you." How naive of me.

So yes. Great night. Terrible terrible terrible management of the coaches back to Manchester city centre afterwards. Whoever was in charge in that should be in some serious trouble. The police had to step in in the end to sort the crowd out which was almost rowdier than it had been inside the park gates. We eventually crawled in to our hotel bed about 1.30am, more tired than I have been in a long time. Somehow we managed to get ourselves up at 7.30 to catch the first train back to Hull where I was picked up by the boyfriend who just looked at me as I dragged my greasy carcass along the platform. No words needed.

All in all. Brilliant experience and I now so want to go to a festival - it would be like that but on a scale a million times bigger! Ah well, next year.

I've always been a little dubious about big concerts, probably because my first gig experiences were in the Manchester Academy, which generally speaking is a fairly small venue. It's more intimate. You feel like you can react more with the band on stage and feel more of a relationship with them. However nothing quite compares to the feel of a crowd as big as the one on Saturday, pressing down around you, all of you joined together in a love of the people on the stage before you.

It's a good job really because in 2 weeks time I'm back in Manchester again, this time at Old Trafford Cricket Ground to see Take That. It's like this month is about reliving my childhood.