Tuesday, 29 September 2009

Would you like a side of child with that?

A while ago I vowed to become a better family member and staying true to my word I arranged to go and see my brother. I was duly booked in to the diary for a month in advance. How privileged I felt. (Stop it, you're supposed to be nice person!) Anyway off the boyfriend and I went to York this weekend to see my brother and his family, including my youngest nephew, who's about 18 months old.

Now I’ve been an Auntie since I was 13 years old which is good because it’s been fun being a young aunt but has also meant that I’ve had the best natural contraceptive you could ever get. Seeing my sister pregnant and dealing with my nephews was all I ever needed to see to bring it screaming home to me that kids. are. hard. work.

Now , from time to time, my mind turns to the babies. I have friends that now have them and when my brother and sister were my age they both had children. Maybe I’m getting ready?


My brother and his wife are shadows of their former selves. They’re having a nightmare with my littlest nephew who is currently refusing to sleep through the night, having the most horrendous temper tantrums over the smallest things and just generally being a pain in the backside. They admitted that at the moment they can’t go out anywhere because they couldn’t inflict him on anyone to look after. And if they do go out they can’t drink and have a bit of a laugh because dealing with him plus a hangover is a no-go.

This all rang bells with me. Last week as I lay dying on the settee wanting to peel my skin off because I felt so bad it did actually cross my mind. What would you do if you had a child right now? How would you cope? The answer is not very well, considering that a trip to Asda on that day nearly led me to have a nervous breakdown.

I’m also not sure that I’m ready to become one of those parents. You know the ones I mean. The ones who can only talk about their child and believe that you are as fascinated by their bowel movements as they are. The boyfriend and I sat through what felt like 4 hours of holiday footage at my brother’s which consisted of my youngest nephew eating ice cream, dancing to a song, sitting about....now I love him to bits but that’s a little bit too much for me. And you run out of encouraging noises to make after the first 20 minutes.

Add those feelings together and I think I have my answer really don’t I?

Not. Ready.

Also how could I ever think I could be ready to pro-create when I have trouble managing these two furry people?! They’re actually kind of similar, I have enough trouble with them keeping me up at night, and wrecking the flat generally – if this is a simulation I think I’ve failed!

(But then I could probably bore people senseless with videos and pictures of these two....)


miss*H said...

Oh my goodness this post could have come from me. Are you sure you haven't plucked this out of my thoughts? :)

I am not ready atall an I don't know if I ever will be however being married just over a year and a few years off 30 people assume that we are desperate, or already trying, for a family but its just not what we want. Pressure pressure! Mr W's mother already thinks I'm strange for not wanting to settle down by the age of 20...all her daughters and her were all pregnant with their first children by the age of 20 so I am like the black sheep of the family and she just can't understand that children make both me and Mr W want to scratch our eyes out.

(your cats are beautiful by the way!)

Anonymous said...

I'm not even married yet and the baby questions are starting to happen. I'm really not ready to have any little bundles at all - financially it would be near impossible and our flat just isn't big enough, plus I just don't feel fully grown up and ready to take responsibility for any little people yet.

But all my best friends bar one have or are expecting children now and I do wonder if I'm missing out on sharing the experience with them. No doubt, they'll be on the second or third pregnancy when I'm on my first! In the meantime though I'll just enjoy the cuddles and fun all my godchildren give me!

Aw - the cats are SO cute! What are their names? And you're right, if you have cats and no children, they really do become your little babies. I even have a picture of mine on my wall at work! x

The Curious Cat said...

Great entry - I'm not ready either though sometimes (with everyone around me going baby mad) it nags a little, still right now I prefer the cats. Lily and Fred look gorgeous here - like two statues. I know what you mean about the photos and vids too with them! :) xxx

Petit Filoux said...

Found your blog recently and I'm coming back for more, love reading your posts! I feel the same about a lot of things (children, crisps, gym) so I guess that's probably why!