Monday, 16 November 2009

Only left handers are in their right minds.

Have I mentioned that I’m left-handed?

It’s very strange being left-handed because whilst it’s very normal for me, it seems a great source of wonderment for everyone else.

I’ll be innocently writing something down and someone will exclaim “I didn’t know you were left-handed!!” with the same tone you might reserve for discovering I was from Mars.

It confuses me a little because I’m not entirely sure what I’m supposed to say in reply to this statement. “Yes I am. My apologies for not fore-warning you of my freakishness.”

I mean I guess I’m in the minority but is it really that weird?

And then there are the people who seem completely freaked out about it and go on and on and on and on and on about how it’s not normal and usually end up insulting you. One of the best one’s I’ve ever had came from a work colleague, “You’re left handed?? But your handwriting’s so neat!” Yes because most left-handed people hold a pen in their fist and daub strokes all over the page whilst right-handed people all have perfect handwriting don’t they?!

(See look a list of other left-handed people. I wrote it in my best handwriting for you)

Left-handers also get accused of acting as if they’re special. Now you can’t have it both ways – you can’t tell us we’re not normal and then have a go at us for revelling in our specialness.

And then there are the people who don’t believe that your life can actually be impeded by you favouring your left side over your right. Not the case my friends!

My childhood memories of primary school are mired by the endless mocking I received for not being able to cut things out properly. I couldn’t cut within the lines and I would often end up ripping the paper. Very traumatic. Anyway it turns out it wasn’t my fault! Scissors are made for right-handed people, meaning that when us lefties use them, they’re upside down. Or back to front. Whatever. Either way it’s not our fault. (And if you wanted a better explanation then go here)

Some of the things I personally have trouble with are:
- Corkscrews
- Tin openers
- Fancy belts – if the buckle has a picture on it, it’ll be upside down when I first put it on
- Peeling anything

We live in a right-handed world – even things you wouldn’t think about are biased towards you righties.

Rulers are a good example! Rulers can be a nightmare for us. When you’re left handed and you go to draw a measured line you have to hold your arm and hand in the air because otherwise they block the numbers and you can’t see what you’re doing. Left-handed rulers have the numbers backwards to make life easier for us poor little souls. Want to buy a present for a school-age lefty? Go here...

Actually, don’t. School’s tough enough without turning up with a backwards ruler.

In conclusion, please don’t treat us like freaks, we can’t help it. And the way things are going with political correctness soon you won’t be able to laugh at us – you will be offending our civil liberties.

Also we could take you on. We’re left-handed and you wouldn’t see our punches coming.

However.

Here are some things associated with lefties that this left hander doesn’t do...

1. I do not write with my hand bent over in a strange angle. Neither do my father or sister. We hold our pens normally. This is a cause of great rage with me. No need to hold your pen in a misshapen claw President Obama – just turn the paper round to a different angle.
2. I use a mouse with my right hand.
3. I don’t play the guitar, but if I did, I’d play it right handed. I think.

So go on. Next time you see a leftie. Don’t proclaim your astonishment for all the world to hear.

Just laugh inside your head.

9 comments:

Fitri said...

nice blog :)

Diane said...

Ok - I have noted this. Loved your previous post about the cats - I'm not a cat person but you have sold them to me. xxxx

The Curious Cat said...

I write with my right hand but for years I was told I wasn't holding my pencil 'properly'. I could still write though so I don't know what that was all about... they gave you those weird triangle things to put on your pencil to help but I was just like 'no.' and I just carried on the way I wanted.

I guess the thing to note here is that the 'minority' have always been a target of victimisation in the past... Is there a term for left-hand 'racism'? Leftism?! I don't know...but I vaguely recall that is stems as far back as the Roman times - you were made to just write with your right hand back then I think - I'm sure this happened in more recent times too - did a little Googling and found this link too which you might find interesting?

http://www.anythingleft-handed.co.uk/lefty_myths.html#1

Even connects being left-handed with the devil...crazy! But I guess it just goes to show how stupid people were/can be with things they don't understand. I guess some of those that do remark when they see you write are probably just curious. I know that it isn't like you invented a cure for cancer but it just an immediate reaction for people who might not have come across it much before and I guess with all the history and superstition etc etc, it is a discussion point whether you'd like it to be or not - or whether it is right or wrong....

Still, never really considered in such detail the issues. Interesting post as usual! :) xxx

Itch2stitch.com said...

I know it is strang how people seem so fascinated about left-handedness! I really can't see what difference it makes! Thanks for entering my giveaway. Good luck! suzie. xxx

miss*H said...

Wasn’t there some research conducted years ago and showed that left-handers used the creative part of their brain more than right hander’s? It was quite interested…although it could have been made up by the left hander at school who was always stared at in astonishment.
x

Flitterbee said...

I'd be interested to see how you do hold a pen and write, I can only picture the odd arm-curved around paper motion that seems to be the reluctant position taken by most left-handers.

Which way 'round do you hold your knife and fork?

Tabiboo said...

I'm a right handed person but I wear my watch on my right hand, can do it up perfectly with my left, though try and do it the other way round - I'm useless, all fingers and thumbs! But anything else with my left hand comes out all rubbish.

A lovely post which made me chuckle - was I suppose to??

Nina x

The Girl said...

@ Curious Cat - the tying your left hand behind your back went on up until very recently. I think they were still doing it in the 50s although I might be wrong. People say that Queen Elizabeth's father had a stammer because of being forced to use his right hand. It's shocking really when you think about it.

@ Miss H - Allegedly we are more creative although I'm the living exception to the rule! Something about which side of the brain is more dominant.

@ Flitterbee - I will get the boyfriend to take a picture of me writing and post it up just for you! And I hold my fork in my left hand and my knife in the right hand. In the correct manner! I hate it when people hold them in the wrong hands, much like the writing thing, there's no need!!

@ Tabiboo - You were definitely supposed to chuckle! :)

Florence and Mary said...

I'm a leftie and get the "isn't your handwriting neat" comment all the time.

I have to say it doesn't bother me too much but then i find myself surrounded by lefties funnily enough.

I use my right hand for my mouse too!

Victoria xx